Indie Rocker Trapped in Skinny Jeans

The singer of a leading indie band has become the first victim of the current trend for skinny jeans.

Joey Kerrigan, lead vocalist of Leicester-based rock band The Whatever, died of severe thigh asphyxiation and third-degree chafing after he became trapped in the pair of skinny jeans he was wearing during a concert at the Sheffield Leadmill.

An eyewitness who was at the show recounted: “Joey was on stage performing when all of a sudden he seemed to lose all movement in his legs and just collapsed on to the floor, screaming: ‘Ooh, me pins! Me pins!’ At first we thought it was just part of the act, before we realised that it was his skinny jeans. There was a bulge of fat around his ankle the size of a scooter tyre.”

Paramedics were swiftly called to the scene, but while they were able to free Kerrigan’s left leg from the jeans, his right leg remained stubbornly attached to the inseam. Despite the best efforts of the paramedics, Kerrigan was pronounced dead on arrival at Sheffield General Hospital.

The incident highlights the dangers posed by skinny jeans to rock stars such as The Kooks and wannabe scenesters such as Nicole Richie. Dr Graham Sprout of the British Medical Association warned: “This fad for wearing jeans that cling to the leg so tightly they may as well be sewn on is a deeply worrying one. It was only a matter of time before we had our first ‘death by skinny’.

Dr Sprout outlined the three key dangers. “Firstly, blood clots can form when the circulation in the leg is restricted. Secondly, the jeans can become fused to the skin when the body thinks it’s just an extra layer of epidermis. Thirdly, they’re clearly going to go out of fashion very, very soon.”