Dyslexic Society Takes Action Against Insensitive Slogans

Angry rumblings today in the twin worlds of reading disorders and edgy fashionwear as the new pressure group DIPSHIT (International Dyslexic Society for Protesting Humiliating and Insensitive Treatment) takes action against insensitive clothing slogans.  

In a press conference held earlier today, DIPSHIT announced that they are filing a class-action lawsuit against clothing company French Connection UK, calling for over £50 million to compensate for mental damage inflicted by FCUK’s cheeky slogan. 

Ernie Grout, spokesman for DIPSHIT, said in a statement, “Most people don't think about dyslexics when they're walking around town looking at what’s written on other people's clothes: when they see a mildly amusing misspelling of a rude word on someone’s shirt they can have a shallow little snigger to themselves. They don’t know what it’s like for us, having to deal with the full force of the obscenity, over and over, day after day. It's a series of real slaps in the face.” 

Many dyslexics around Britain see the lawsuit as a step in the right direction. Bernadette Escallope, a dyslexic herself as well as the mother of three dyslexic children, says DIPSHIT has her full support. “I was on a bus with my youngest – he’s almost six now – and a young lady in front of us had a t-shirt that said ‘Bend me over a dustbin and fcuk me right up the arse’. Jerry’s at that stage where he likes to talk and usually just says what he sees, so he started saying it over and over, which would be fine if he weren’t dyslexic, because ‘f-kuk’ isn’t a real word and everybody would understand, but instead they all thought I was a bad mother. It was terrible.’ 

However, not everyone is so keen on the idea. One of the key figures defending FCUK's right to misspell swear words is Larold Pomfritter, Head of T-Shirt Design at FCUK and creator of such catchy slogans as 'Fcuk you', 'Shut your fcuking face' and 'I fcuked your mum, I did'. He sees the lawsuit as little more than a brazen money-grab by a desperately unloved minority. Pomfritter stated, “It’s just bollocks, isn’t it? I always thought ‘dyslexic’ was just a fancy word for stupid, but now they’ve got action groups and lobbyists and everything. Dyslexia? More like dick-lexia! I've just copyrighted that, by the way, so you can't use it.”  

Pomfritter is currently considering a career in stand-up comedy.