Chefs To Save The World

By:

Max Colchester

Top UK chefs Gordon Ramsay, Ainsley Harriott and Anthony Worrall-Thompson have teamed up to save Africa.

The three celebrity chefs have joined forces in an attempt to cure aids, cancel debt and feed the entire continent. In order to raise funds for this endeavour, the three chefs are seeking to expand their respective television programs and invest profits into their charity 'Live Food'.

"I think that we've become so famous that we can now take on Bono and Geldof at their own game", said Worrall-Thompson. He added: "If two angry Irish rock stars can do it I don't see why three highly motivated cooks can't. The fact is that they've been banging on about for so bloody long that I think it's only fair that they should let other people have a go at being smug."

Worrall-Thompson's message is simple. "The premise for our charity is that if everyone ate fresh, home-cooked organic food round a table at night there would be peace in the world. We just have to raise awareness."

Ramsay is hoping to do this by exporting his highly successful show "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares" to the African subcontinent. The program, in which he travels around Britain reviving failing restaurants while poaching their talented staff, has already featured in Kenya to great applause. His trademark swearing has made him a firm fixture and his tip of adding celeriac to any grain porridge has gone down a storm. "Gordon loves it out there", said Ramsay's PA, "He really enjoys being treated as a pseudo-saint while massively enhancing his personal marketing value."

Harriott for his part has been busy touring Ethiopia using his highly successful Ready Steady Cook formula. A friend of Harriott's said: "People have been so accommodating, it's incredible. The premise of the show works brilliantly out there. You give crap 'surprise' ingredients to people who then cook a crap meal in 20 minutes. Given that unemployment is rife, millions tune in to watch the daytime show." Harriott himself does concede that is that there are only so many things you can make with grain and goat's meat. "It's getting a bit repetitive but then again that never proved a problem in the UK."

However there is trouble in paradise. Harriott is said to be worried about potential confrontations with Ramsay. During the filming of a Christmas programme, Ramsay attempted to infuriate Harriet by naming a turkey he was about to kill after his slaphead colleague. There is speculation that the two may fall out, with disastrous consequences for Live Food.

A spokesperson for Live Food has attempted to quash this rumour: "Yes there have been some heated words between the two. However they have agreed to put their differences behind them in a bid to save Africa. Either way if things get too heated they can just vent their anger on Worrall-Thompson. Easy pickings as he’s fat, ginger, and looks like a weirdo."

The trio's cookery shows are aired on Saturday mornings on just about every channel that exists.