Offensively-Named Rock Band Not Allowed to Perform in US

The members of the smash hit band ‘I Loved Watching 9/11, Didn’t You?’ have spoken out against their ban from performing in the USA. 

A proposed tour of US state capitals was cancelled when the governor of Idaho, Dirk Bladder, successfully persuaded President Bush to block the band’s visa applications.  

“I didn’t save you Limeys in World War II to have you come over and insult my country, however attractive the Queen is,” wept Bladder, who had the Stars and Stripes tattooed on the palm of both hands during the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. Pete Spleen, the 23 year-old who sings lead vocals in the band, says there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for the apparently horrific name.   

“We were formed years ago as 9/11,” he said at a press conference held in a Taunton Little Chef. “I was 11 at the time and Nigel [Wazzcock, the band’s sitar player] was nine. Like most kids of that age, we weren’t particularly good at coming up with band names. We didn’t think Spleen and Wazzcock was very original, and the only other alternative was Teeny Tiny Titwank. That was vetoed by my mother, who suggested 9/11 as those were our ages at the time. Two years later we split up; I got married and Nige was hooked on Ketamine. Our music suffered because of both, but it was mostly due to my sluttish wife.”   

Spleen, who has recently come out as asexual, continued in a whisper, “After my wife died in a tragic lawnmower accident, we decided to reform the band.” 

This was in May 2001, just months before the World Trade Centre was coincidentally attacked on the date indicated by the band’s name. Using the £250 Spleen received from You’ve Been Framed for the video of the late Mrs. Spleen’s death, the band set up a website, nineelevenfans.com, to gauge support for a potential comeback.  

“We were overwhelmed by the response, we received literally four emails, only two of them spam!” said Wazzcock, 21. “We thought we’d give something back to the fans by renaming the band after one of the comments on the message board. The whole emphasis of the music had changed; we couldn’t just come back as 9/11.”   

The band formerly performed jazz and folk covers, but in its new incarnation will be dropping some dirty grime beats. “We noticed one particular comment, ‘I loved watching 9/11, didn’t you?’ and thought it summed up what we’re all about,” cried Spleen, “So that’s the logical explanation.” 

“Also we hate America” added Wazzcock.