Second Wearing of Humorous T-shirt Lacks Originality

Student Jonathan Wilkes, on an evening of heavy drinking with his classmates, decided to wear the same humorous T-shirt as he had worn the previous night, resulting in widespread criticism of his lack of originality.

“OK, it was bloody hilarious on Friday,” said lager lout and biochemist Steve Worrell, as he wiped sick from the toes of his shoes onto the back of his Levi jeans, “but a second time around it's like, ‘I've seen this’, you know.” 

Wilkes' ‘No fat birds’ T-shirt caused a stir when it appeared, ostensibly for one night only, at the Swan on Lothian Road, Edinburgh at 7pm on Friday night. The originality of adapting a traditional Middle American bumper sticker to reach a British market was hailed as inspired, while barflies and bar staff alike were nothing if not fulsome in their praise of Wilkes' witty choice of attire.

“I couldn't believe it,” said Wilkes, a 23 year-old second year Chemical Engineering undergraduate at the University of Edinburgh, “total strangers were coming up to me and saying ‘that T-shirt is fucking top!’ before passing out or trying to kiss me.”

However, despite this universal approval for his comic choice of evening wear on Friday, Wilkes was dismayed that no mention was made of his T-shirt on its second outing, finding some fellow drinkers were actively hostile to its reappearance. 

Unfavourable remarks were heard between bouts of flatulence from several areas of the dimly lit bar, and a rather unflattering review found carved into a toilet cubicle wall using the edge of a broken bottle. “I was shocked,” he told reporters. “After the unanimously great reception on Friday, I just assumed I couldn't go wrong. Boy was I grounded!”

But soused critics stood by their remarks. “It's like he expects us to laugh as hard the second time,” said frequent drinker and miserable git Frank Wyman, staring glassily into a triple Scotch and water. “Audiences need humour to stay fresh. A T-shirt like that may be a gem for one night at the Swan, but to trying to milk it is pushing your luck. The whole thing was derivative, insipid and lazy intentionally offensive comedy. If I want that, I'll ask my mates to wear Roy Chubby Brown.”

But Wilkes was undeterred at the frosty reception to his second foray into garment-based comedy.  “I've got a great ‘100 reasons why beer is better than a woman’ hoodie back home,” he told thenewsentry.com reporters from a Leith gutter while a tramp ate his socks. “Let's see how that one goes down on Sunday.”