Bush Pacifies Congress by Playing Sweet Home Alabama

After a barrage of difficult questions from US Congressmen, President George W. Bush, in a debating move unprecedented in the history of the US Congress, restored order in the House by playing the Lynrd Skynyrd classic 'Sweet Home Alabama'.

While Democratic representatives from over 12 states bombarded Mr Bush with questions about his flagging economic policy, the under-funding of state schools and Iraq's gradual slide into anarchy, the 61 year-old Commander-in-Chief reached beneath the podium, slowly removed a Sony stereo with sub-woofer speakers, and calmly selected a track on a mix CD which photographers noticed bore the Presidential Seal.

Jesse Gillman, a junior Congressman from Utah, spoke up while this unusual event was taking place. “Mr President, may Congress inquire what you're doing?” he was reported to have asked.

The greying President responded: “Congressmen, I'll grant my administration has had its flaws. But let us not forget the indomitable spirit of the American people which returned a Republican to the White House. Let us not forget what it is to be a part of this glorious American democracy. Let me share with you a few words which I know will stir the heart of every true American in this room.”

With that, America's 43rd President pressed the stereo's 'Play' button, and as the initial chords of the classic rockabilly track began to ring out, he loosened his tie, donned a stetson, and climbed onto the Speaker's podium, revealing a pair of polished snakehide cowboy boots. He then proceeded to erratically dance, occasionally tilting his head and curling his lip in an Elvis-esque pout towards seated reporters.

While Congressmen and women were initially shocked by Mr. Bush's sudden breach of decorum, they soon found themselves tapping their toes along to Lynyrd Skynrd's eternal anthem for the American Dream.

“I was in full support of a vote of no confidence in Bush's leadership”, said Sandra Lee, a Democratic representative from Minnesota, “but hell, we all deserve a second chance, to sing songs about the Southlands. I miss Alabammy once again.”

Ms Lee, who has never been to Alabama, then knotted her silk suit jacket below her chest, and leaped on the back of a wheezing Republican shouting “Yee-ha!”, an action which apparently did not go down well with ‘notorious sourpuss’ Condoleezza Rice.

As veteran statesmen and Harvard educated journalists threw briefcases, portable computers and unconvincing hairpieces to the ground in a rejection of stuffy politics and a warm reaching out to American freedom, Bush made a hasty exit through a rear door. No attempt at pursuit was made, as Congress security were occupied playing air guitar and engaging in impromptu line dancing in the Council chamber. 

“Has he gone?” whooped New York Times reporter Miles McNally. “But I was going to grill him over his opening of the Alaskan National Parks for oil drilling. It's a national disgrace - Oh, wait, I love this part!” He promptly hurled himself towards the podium and crowd surfed along a line of senior Utah politicians. 

The President, meanwhile, made his way by helicopter to his Texas ranch, which American reporters have been unable to get close to following the installation of several high-powered speakers which play a looped version of well-known Democrat Bruce Springsteen's ‘Born in the USA’.