A day has past in Paris without a single demonstration leaving locals and commuters in a state of disbelief.

As fans of Harry Potter have been speed reading their way towards the conclusion of J.K. Rowling’s series this week, publishers Bloomsbury are facing a growing wave of resentment at what some are calling “a senseless disregard for Harry’s long-term employment prospects.”

Social networking site Facebook has announced that it will soon be installing “Live Status” chips within every user in order to track their every move.

Neil Tarman, a builder from Brighton, is adamant that his cold is far more serious than his girlfriend is giving it credit for.

UK-based retail giant Primark is looking to expand its business by launching new branches in Third World countries, starting off with Sierra Leone and Rwanda. 

A beleaguered British adult entertainment star, Cherry Poppins, has asked footballers to donate a day’s wages to the porn star charity, The Pornographers Universal Minge Proliferation Group (PUMP Group), in return for taking part in a gangbang.