Whilst most Brits believed that politicians had done their best to combat the rise of most abhorrent dances, an overwhelming majority were still critical of MPs delectation of the “twist and shout”.

Several notable members of the UK Independence Party died from severe and advanced malnutrition in Strasbourg this week following a spirited, if rather unnecessary, vow never to use the single European currency.

The Bank of England today slashed interest rates to 2%, but the average man simply didn’t care.

The British National Party has decided to scrap its manifesto in favour of a one-liner that adequately encompasses all its policies: “No Brown People”.

As part of a movement to reform British railways, background checks have been performed on a number of British Rail employees.

UK-based retail giant Primark is looking to expand its business by launching new branches in Third World countries, starting off with Sierra Leone and Rwanda. 

The Japanese government has confirmed huge losses in the ninja industry in the last decade, as a result of a significant displacement from popular culture.

Several towns in Kent were in a tightly regulated state of disarray yesterday evening after a crack government squad, code-named 'The A-Quango', escaped from a maximum-security conference room in Whitehall.

The Fat Controller, known best for his appearance on popular daytime TV show Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends, is taking legal action against his employers for persistent abuse in the workplace.

The leader of the Conservative Party, David Cameron, today demanded an independent public enquiry to uncover what he described as “the full extent of Tony Blair’s guitar enthusiasm”.